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 It’s great to have friends when you are going through a divorce and most people appreciate the support. Sometimes, however, the advice of friends is not helpful. If you have a friend facing divorce, here are some ideas. I got these ideas by asking my clients what was helpful and what was not. Did you know that divorce files are open to anyone?At one time divorce files could be “sealed” so that no one other than the parties or their attorney could look at the files. That is no longer. Divorce files are public record and available to anyone with or without a legitimate purpose according to the Freedom of Information laws. In many places the files are available on line or soon will be. The only way to keep such information from prying eyes is to not have it in the record at all. Just because you are getting a divorce does not mean you have to expose all of your private information to other’s scrutiny. Read more…. While looking for new topics to post I have been reviewing some of my previous postings and I am finding some relevant ones worth reposting. This is from September 2009 and I have added some updates. Many of my clients have been married long term and are facing a mid life divorce. This does not have to be a cause for grief — in fact many times clients are looking forward to their new lives. When I meet people and tell them that I am a divorce lawyer, I often get comments something like: “We have been married for over 20 years; I guess we will never need your services.” Or, “ We’ve been married so long, there’d be no point breaking up. Divorce is something the younger folks do.” Contrary to popular belief, mature couples divorce every day. Many of my clients have been married 20 to 30 years and even more. A significant amount are over 50 and I have even had clients over 70. The mid life and beyond divorce is not as unusual as one may think. As people live longer they may find that they have outgrown their marriage. One person may be ready for change and the other wants to remain the same. Read more…. We all know that establishing a marriage is easier than disassembling one. A ritual or other ceremonial conclusion can support dissolving marriages and help them achieve a healthier conclusion. Weddings come with substantial community participation and celebration why not Divorces as well? Dissolving a business requires great care; shouldn’t dissolving a family require even more forethought and preparation? Read more…. There was a time, not so long ago, that divorce property settlement agreements were based upon the concept that real estate values only go up and there was always equity in the family home. In today’s reality of falling real estate prices we have to get more creative with what to do about houses that are valued at less than the mortgage, rental property, and houses that have dropped so far in value the owners want to maintain the property long enough to recover some of their losses. Here are some questions I frequently hear: Read more…. Do you have a friend facing divorce? Are you? Perhaps an understanding of the emotional stages people experience can help you or help you offer support to a friend. Everyone processes differently but there are certain patterns. Perhaps an awareness of these emotional stages can help the person offering support to understand and help their friend process through the stages to finally reach the sixth state – I call it the state of happiness. Read more…. |
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Copyright © 2012 Divorce For Grownups - All Rights Reserved Karin Quirk, Attorney at Law | 5400 Carillon Point, Kirkland, WA |
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Karin Quirk
